One of the scary things about wedding planning, for brides who have never done it before, is the potential for mistakes and disasters like those we see on TV. This is one of the biggest days of your life, so it makes sense that you want everything to be just right. In your mind, your dress, your venue and your decorations are perfect. You can hear the music that’s playing when you walk down the aisle and during your first dance as the Mrs. You have been thinking about some of these details since the day you realized, “He’s the one”. And along with all of the details being perfect, you want everyone to have an amazing time at your wedding. You want to have the most amazing time at your wedding.
So what mistakes are possible? Countless. Why? Because, you probably haven’t planned a wedding. And, isn’t that the reason you hire professionals to help you manage through the wedding jungle? Who knew there were so many choices and decisions to make? How much should the right amount of flowers cost? How do I know when I am getting a good deal, rate or package price at the venue? What do I do to make sure vendors are trustworthy? Start by trusting your instincts…your gut.
One of my cutest couples learned to trust their gut the hard way. They found their venue first and then me. And although they loved everything about the venue itself, they were not feeling the love from the owners. In fact, they questioned whether or not they should change venues more than once. This was the first red flag. In almost every correspondence, the owners mentioned how busy they were and that they would get back to them as soon as they could. This made the bride and groom feel like there wasn’t time for their wedding or their many questions. After reaching out to schedule a visit to meet the owners, I began to understand why my bride and groom were uneasy. The owners had done hundreds of weddings at their beautiful location. However, they weren’t communicating in a way that made this couple feel like would not just be one of the many.
After months of planning, the relationship with the venue only soured. The bride and groom continued to have questions and the owners continued to be “very busy giving tours, maintaining the property, answering leads and booking brides”. In one situation, the owners became angry because they had extended a discount to the couple without first letting them know what the real cost was. It is difficult for anyone to appreciate a gift they don’t know they have received. Communicating actual cost up front would have helped the bride and groom establish the value of their package and then appreciate the gift of the discount. Instead, they were confused and hurt when the owner expressed frustration.
So, how do you know when to move forward from a venue or vendor? Here are some tips I follow as a wedding pro and as a consumer:
· When you are visiting a venue and you see, hear, smell or feel something that brings up a question, ask it –Your intuition is trained to pick up on things that aren’t quite right to or for you. Those not-right-things probably aren’t strange and sinister every time, but it makes sense to get the answers earlier rather than too late. It’s always a good idea to read the online reviews thoroughly. Even if the reviewer gives 5 stars, they may still share negative feedback. Look for trends on specifics like attention to detail, professionalism of the staff and overall treatment of guests. Those are areas that you don’t want to sacrifice for a pretty backdrop
· If any vendor makes you feel like you are wasting their time with your questions, run – Most brides are planning their first wedding for the first time. You aren’t supposed to be the expert on flowers, the professional florist is. It is a part of their job to answer your questions, no matter that they have done so for 50 brides before you that day. A vendor that is impatient in meeting with you, may also be impatient in meeting your needs and getting your details just right. Talent should not excuse a vendor from providing good customer service
· If a vendor describes your wedding as their masterpiece, proceed with caution – There are some very talented florists, designers and artists who create beautiful things and scenery every day. However, none of that matters if they do not get your vision right. Make sure that you hear what you want to see. If you aren’t sure about their interpretation of the pictures and diagrams you have shown them, tell them immediately. Hoping they will “get it” and pull everything together on your wedding day is a huge chance to take for a once-in-a-lifetime event and almost a guarantee for disappointment. Communicate clearly and consistently about what you have in mind all the way through the process
· If a vendor doesn’t make you feel special, take the hint – You are planning one wedding…yours. Be very careful about giving your business to anyone who makes you feel like your wedding day is one of hundreds for the year. Top vendors will be in demand, that is a given. But a true professional will give you the attention you need and deserve and knows how to make their schedule accommodate their clients. If you don’t feel valued, walk away
In the end, the young couple had a very beautiful wedding… at another venue. They were not able to bridge the gap with the owners and, unfortunately, did not trust them with this very important day, despite loving the venue. We were fortunate to find a location that met all of their needs and exceeded their expectations in customer service This story ended happily. But a tough lesson was learned.
Your wedding day is special. It is a once-in-a-lifetime moment that you will remember for the rest of your life. When you choose vendors and professionals, it is okay to be excited and expect them to be excited for you. If something isn’t clear, ask questions. If you aren’t sure about anything, delay making a decision, or paying a deposit until you can gather more information, time permitting. Planning far enough in advance affords you the time to choose vendors well. If you hire a planner, share any concerns you may have with them. They may have the history and background to address your issues quickly or find other referrals who can.
Finally, be realistic and fair in your choosing. Some personalities work better together than others. If you and a vendor simply do not share the same “vibe”, decide how important that is to you if you love their work. This may not be a good idea for the planner, who is your right hand and, sometimes, your representative. But, it may be okay that you aren’t warm fuzzy with the baker who can create the Lemon/Raspberry cake with Swiss butter cream icing of your dreams. A vendor has provided you with good value when they communicate to set proper expectations, deliver consistently on their promises and especially on event day. You deserve that. Your gut just makes sure you know it.
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