Embracing the "B" Word

In an ideal world, it would be fantastic to plan the wedding you wanted, without having to consult your checkbook at all.  The choices are infinite...until you see the price tags.  But a savvy bride, which you obviously are, knows how to maximize the budget she is working with and have the wedding of her dreams.  But how do you put together a budget for a wedding?  How much does a "nice" wedding versus the version you have in your head cost?  The only way to work through these questions and make wise financial decisions is to put pen to paper.  Yes, you must create a budget.

 

Regardless of how much each bride has to spend, every wedding has an overall budget.  The exact number is going to be decided either by what you choose to spend, or what you actually have to spend.  Deciding on what that number is, before you start planning anything, will save you headaches and lots of money down the road.

 

The first number that you want to write down is the total number of dollars that you have or are willing to spend on everything associated with the wedding events.  It is best to work with a concrete number based on resources you know that you can count on.  If your Great Aunt Hilda offers to pay for your flowers, thank her.  But do not count on that money being a part of your budget until you get a check in your hand.  There are plenty of horror stories of brides who are forced to run around in the last few weeks before their wedding because they spent money they did not actually have in hand.  Included in those stories are tales of couples who have come home from a honeymoon to no lights and an empty fridge until the next 2 paydays... Not a good start to your marriage.

 

After you have written down your number, decide how you want to divide it among the many expenses associated with a wedding.  Take a look at the budget guide that is attached.  This is one of the tools I share with couples to help them see where the dollars of their overall budget can go.  The percentages are just estimates of what you can expect to spend as it relates to your overall budget. However, keep in mind that your budget dictates the rules.  If flowers are not important enough for you to spend 8% of your budget on them, don't.  Use that money elsewhere, or keep it in your pocket.  The same goes with any other aspect.  The best way to maximize any wedding budget is to focus your dollars on what matters to you.  If your pictures are the most important thing for you, point your dollars in that direction and hire a great photographer. 

 

On the average, weddings have been reported to cost $25,000.  That does not mean that that should be the number you aim to spend or that your wedding won't be what you want even if you do.  One way to tame costs up front is to analyze and minimize your guest list.  Even though the caterer has quoted you $35 per person, each head at the table actually costs you more than that.  Consider that for each additional 8-10 people on your list, you add another table, chairs, linens, floral decor, an additional server and maybe even a larger, more costly venue to accomodate them.  Having those 100 guests at a $25,000 wedding really translates to $135 per guest.  Considering this true cost, is every person on your list that dear to you?  Think about that before you send out your save-the-dates.

 

Here are some steps to becoming great friends with your wedding budget:

 

1. Decide What Will Be Spent, Then Shop - Once you get engaged, it is a natural instinct to want to start flipping through bridal magazines and making appointments to pick out dresses, shoes, linens, etc. But, resist the urge until you have consulted your future partner for life and/or all concerned with the financial input towards the wedding.  You will spend your planning time much more wisely if you know what you have to spend and can shop with a keen eye for who will deliver what you want, with the service and quality you deserve at the best value
2. When You Spend it, Write it Down - I cannot tell you how many brides have busted their budget because they did not keep track of everything they were actually spending.  Picking up minor things like fabric swatches, ribbons and wedding doo dads on sale adds up...and fast.  Writing down your purchases and holding onto receipts will help you to see where you are in your overall spending.  When you see those totals rising you have the information to make some decisions or some returns
3. Discounts Should be Offered, Not Demanded - This can be a sticky situation for brides and wedding professionals. If you have your heart set on the floral designing talents of a certain area florist, but know their work is outside of your price range, proceed with caution.  It is okay to ask about any promotional discounts they may have.  However, trying to haggle them down until they agree to the price that will fit your budget may end up leaving you both with a bad taste in your mouth.  This is certainly not the foundation you want to build your vendor relationships with.  A good wedding planner will be able to help you navigate the area vendors and may even secure discounts based on relationships she has built with them over time.  This is a tactic that can help you save dollars across the board
4. Allow Your Budget to Do Its Job - If you are not realistic about what you truly have to spend and work within your budget, it will not help you.  Be honest with yourself first and then your planner about the monies you have to make your day everything you want it to be.  Communicating honestly will help you set realistic expectations that can be met, which will help you feel much more in control of and relaxed during your wedding celebration.  Your budget is your friend, if you allow it to be

The Wedding Budget is a great tool when used properly. It can guide you in many ways and keep you on task in others.  It will help you make rational decisions amidst a sea of emotional tugs and bridal twinges.  It will also serve as a great scapegoat when your mom tries to introduce 25 new names to the headcount... "Sorry, Mom.  The budget is set for x number at the reception and we can't go over that. Thanks for understanding."

 

Have the wedding that you always wanted and do it within your means.

Navigating the Bridal Show

If you are engaged, or soon-to-be, one of the first things you may do is sign up for every bridal fair… within a 50 mile radius.  That is okay, if you want to spend up to 5 or 6 hours every weekend amidst a mob of people.  But chances are, after the first 2 or 3, you will be likely be way over it, and may still not have any usable information.  Worse, you can be so overwhelmed by all the information you did receive, that you don’t remember much at all and certainly not enough to make decisions about vendors.  However, good news!  There is a way to maneuver a bridal show so that you get the most out of each one you attend and walk away with valuable contacts and information to help you start planning.

When you are deciding which shows to attend, make sure you do some research.  Read the feedback that brides have left from that show in past years.  Did they have quality vendors?  Did they have vendors showcasing what you are looking for?  Did they have enough vendors to meet the needs of the population at the show?  These are things you want to find out before you start paying entry fees.  If you already have a wedding planner, ask them if they recommend any particular show, or are exhibiting at any.  Sometimes, they can get you a free pass (or two) as their guest plus give you insight you might not otherwise get.

Once you have decided which shows you want to test the waters in, decide who is going with you.  In the past 2 years, I am happy to see there are more couples attending the bridal shows together.  If you are bringing your fiancé, you definitely want to have a plan to maximize his attention span.  Moms, sisters and girlfriends are always fun too.  Be sure that you invite those who will help you navigate the space, information and share valuable feedback.

Once you have decided which exhibits you will attend, register.  It is a much richer experience when you come as an expected guest (wear your name badge).  If you choose not to, make sure you know what payment methods are accepted at the door.  As part of your navigation strategy, consider and use the following tips:

1.       Do a Little Homework to Conserve a lot of Legwork – Typically larger bridal shows (The Great Bridal Expo, Unveiled Wedding Event) will list the vendors they have slotted to be at the event.  Take some time to look them up online.  Keep a list of the vendors you are most interested in and questions you want to ask them directly.  When you get to the event, mark their names and locations in your guide to make sure you get to their booth/table before the day is over.  This doesn’t mean you won’t take in all the vendors, but you want to focus on those that may be a match for your celebration.  Also, wear comfortable shoes so that you can focus on the experience and not the amount of walking you will do

2.       Be Prepared to Collect and Keep Complete Information – It’s okay to bring a notebook for notes.  You will probably get at least one notepad in your goody bag from the exhibit.  However, you want to take notes you will understand later.  A tool I always carry is a pad of sticky notes.  When you pick up the business cards or information packet from different vendors, it is easy to jot down notes on the sticky and attach it directly to their information.  Later on, when you are going through the pile and you want to remember the name of the florist with the beautiful peonies n display, you have your sticky note to help.  Also, make note of things/comments/displays you are not impressed with.  Vendors should be putting their best foot forward at an exhibit.  If they cut corners with their display or materials, you want to remember that if you are considering using their service and how that might translate into delivering on your wedding day.  Taking lots of pictures is a great way to keep up with what you liked and/or didn't

3.       Leave an Impression – You are not only looking for the best vendors for your wedding day, the best vendors are also looking for their ideal brides.  When you present yourself as such, they will be excited to meet with you and follow up.  Make it quick and easy by bringing either pre-printed labels or slips of paper with your contact and wedding date information on them.  Many vendors have specials they make available specifically to exhibition participants.   You want to be on that list

4.       Do Not Impulse Shop – Exhibits can be an intoxicating experience.  Vendors intentionally design their set ups to intrigue and engage all of your senses to stir up the emotional connections that take place when you select them for your dream wedding.  However, you should always sit down and talk to a vendor about your day, one-on-one in an environment that allows you to gauge how well you will work together.  It is absolutely okay to fall in love with a vendor at the exhibit (that is why they are there with the most wonderful raspberry/lemon cake with Swiss butter cream icing).  It is a better idea to do a bit more research before you make any major decisions. Beware of vendors who are pushing on the spot purchases or packages that are only available if you pay that day

Bridal exhibitions are fun.  There is wine and champagne to sip, cake and cocktail hors d’oeuvres to taste, massages to get, vendors to meet, DJs/bands to hear, fashion shows to watch and prizes to win (honeymoon packages are still some of the best prizes).  But along with all the excitement, there is some business to take care of. Make it easy on yourself by planning ahead and maximizing your time spent there.  You will find the experience much more rewarding.