Embracing the "B" Word

In an ideal world, it would be fantastic to plan the wedding you wanted, without having to consult your checkbook at all.  The choices are infinite...until you see the price tags.  But a savvy bride, which you obviously are, knows how to maximize the budget she is working with and have the wedding of her dreams.  But how do you put together a budget for a wedding?  How much does a "nice" wedding versus the version you have in your head cost?  The only way to work through these questions and make wise financial decisions is to put pen to paper.  Yes, you must create a budget.

 

Regardless of how much each bride has to spend, every wedding has an overall budget.  The exact number is going to be decided either by what you choose to spend, or what you actually have to spend.  Deciding on what that number is, before you start planning anything, will save you headaches and lots of money down the road.

 

The first number that you want to write down is the total number of dollars that you have or are willing to spend on everything associated with the wedding events.  It is best to work with a concrete number based on resources you know that you can count on.  If your Great Aunt Hilda offers to pay for your flowers, thank her.  But do not count on that money being a part of your budget until you get a check in your hand.  There are plenty of horror stories of brides who are forced to run around in the last few weeks before their wedding because they spent money they did not actually have in hand.  Included in those stories are tales of couples who have come home from a honeymoon to no lights and an empty fridge until the next 2 paydays... Not a good start to your marriage.

 

After you have written down your number, decide how you want to divide it among the many expenses associated with a wedding.  Take a look at the budget guide that is attached.  This is one of the tools I share with couples to help them see where the dollars of their overall budget can go.  The percentages are just estimates of what you can expect to spend as it relates to your overall budget. However, keep in mind that your budget dictates the rules.  If flowers are not important enough for you to spend 8% of your budget on them, don't.  Use that money elsewhere, or keep it in your pocket.  The same goes with any other aspect.  The best way to maximize any wedding budget is to focus your dollars on what matters to you.  If your pictures are the most important thing for you, point your dollars in that direction and hire a great photographer. 

 

On the average, weddings have been reported to cost $25,000.  That does not mean that that should be the number you aim to spend or that your wedding won't be what you want even if you do.  One way to tame costs up front is to analyze and minimize your guest list.  Even though the caterer has quoted you $35 per person, each head at the table actually costs you more than that.  Consider that for each additional 8-10 people on your list, you add another table, chairs, linens, floral decor, an additional server and maybe even a larger, more costly venue to accomodate them.  Having those 100 guests at a $25,000 wedding really translates to $135 per guest.  Considering this true cost, is every person on your list that dear to you?  Think about that before you send out your save-the-dates.

 

Here are some steps to becoming great friends with your wedding budget:

 

1. Decide What Will Be Spent, Then Shop - Once you get engaged, it is a natural instinct to want to start flipping through bridal magazines and making appointments to pick out dresses, shoes, linens, etc. But, resist the urge until you have consulted your future partner for life and/or all concerned with the financial input towards the wedding.  You will spend your planning time much more wisely if you know what you have to spend and can shop with a keen eye for who will deliver what you want, with the service and quality you deserve at the best value
2. When You Spend it, Write it Down - I cannot tell you how many brides have busted their budget because they did not keep track of everything they were actually spending.  Picking up minor things like fabric swatches, ribbons and wedding doo dads on sale adds up...and fast.  Writing down your purchases and holding onto receipts will help you to see where you are in your overall spending.  When you see those totals rising you have the information to make some decisions or some returns
3. Discounts Should be Offered, Not Demanded - This can be a sticky situation for brides and wedding professionals. If you have your heart set on the floral designing talents of a certain area florist, but know their work is outside of your price range, proceed with caution.  It is okay to ask about any promotional discounts they may have.  However, trying to haggle them down until they agree to the price that will fit your budget may end up leaving you both with a bad taste in your mouth.  This is certainly not the foundation you want to build your vendor relationships with.  A good wedding planner will be able to help you navigate the area vendors and may even secure discounts based on relationships she has built with them over time.  This is a tactic that can help you save dollars across the board
4. Allow Your Budget to Do Its Job - If you are not realistic about what you truly have to spend and work within your budget, it will not help you.  Be honest with yourself first and then your planner about the monies you have to make your day everything you want it to be.  Communicating honestly will help you set realistic expectations that can be met, which will help you feel much more in control of and relaxed during your wedding celebration.  Your budget is your friend, if you allow it to be

The Wedding Budget is a great tool when used properly. It can guide you in many ways and keep you on task in others.  It will help you make rational decisions amidst a sea of emotional tugs and bridal twinges.  It will also serve as a great scapegoat when your mom tries to introduce 25 new names to the headcount... "Sorry, Mom.  The budget is set for x number at the reception and we can't go over that. Thanks for understanding."

 

Have the wedding that you always wanted and do it within your means.

Navigating the Bridal Show

If you are engaged, or soon-to-be, one of the first things you may do is sign up for every bridal fair… within a 50 mile radius.  That is okay, if you want to spend up to 5 or 6 hours every weekend amidst a mob of people.  But chances are, after the first 2 or 3, you will be likely be way over it, and may still not have any usable information.  Worse, you can be so overwhelmed by all the information you did receive, that you don’t remember much at all and certainly not enough to make decisions about vendors.  However, good news!  There is a way to maneuver a bridal show so that you get the most out of each one you attend and walk away with valuable contacts and information to help you start planning.

When you are deciding which shows to attend, make sure you do some research.  Read the feedback that brides have left from that show in past years.  Did they have quality vendors?  Did they have vendors showcasing what you are looking for?  Did they have enough vendors to meet the needs of the population at the show?  These are things you want to find out before you start paying entry fees.  If you already have a wedding planner, ask them if they recommend any particular show, or are exhibiting at any.  Sometimes, they can get you a free pass (or two) as their guest plus give you insight you might not otherwise get.

Once you have decided which shows you want to test the waters in, decide who is going with you.  In the past 2 years, I am happy to see there are more couples attending the bridal shows together.  If you are bringing your fiancé, you definitely want to have a plan to maximize his attention span.  Moms, sisters and girlfriends are always fun too.  Be sure that you invite those who will help you navigate the space, information and share valuable feedback.

Once you have decided which exhibits you will attend, register.  It is a much richer experience when you come as an expected guest (wear your name badge).  If you choose not to, make sure you know what payment methods are accepted at the door.  As part of your navigation strategy, consider and use the following tips:

1.       Do a Little Homework to Conserve a lot of Legwork – Typically larger bridal shows (The Great Bridal Expo, Unveiled Wedding Event) will list the vendors they have slotted to be at the event.  Take some time to look them up online.  Keep a list of the vendors you are most interested in and questions you want to ask them directly.  When you get to the event, mark their names and locations in your guide to make sure you get to their booth/table before the day is over.  This doesn’t mean you won’t take in all the vendors, but you want to focus on those that may be a match for your celebration.  Also, wear comfortable shoes so that you can focus on the experience and not the amount of walking you will do

2.       Be Prepared to Collect and Keep Complete Information – It’s okay to bring a notebook for notes.  You will probably get at least one notepad in your goody bag from the exhibit.  However, you want to take notes you will understand later.  A tool I always carry is a pad of sticky notes.  When you pick up the business cards or information packet from different vendors, it is easy to jot down notes on the sticky and attach it directly to their information.  Later on, when you are going through the pile and you want to remember the name of the florist with the beautiful peonies n display, you have your sticky note to help.  Also, make note of things/comments/displays you are not impressed with.  Vendors should be putting their best foot forward at an exhibit.  If they cut corners with their display or materials, you want to remember that if you are considering using their service and how that might translate into delivering on your wedding day.  Taking lots of pictures is a great way to keep up with what you liked and/or didn't

3.       Leave an Impression – You are not only looking for the best vendors for your wedding day, the best vendors are also looking for their ideal brides.  When you present yourself as such, they will be excited to meet with you and follow up.  Make it quick and easy by bringing either pre-printed labels or slips of paper with your contact and wedding date information on them.  Many vendors have specials they make available specifically to exhibition participants.   You want to be on that list

4.       Do Not Impulse Shop – Exhibits can be an intoxicating experience.  Vendors intentionally design their set ups to intrigue and engage all of your senses to stir up the emotional connections that take place when you select them for your dream wedding.  However, you should always sit down and talk to a vendor about your day, one-on-one in an environment that allows you to gauge how well you will work together.  It is absolutely okay to fall in love with a vendor at the exhibit (that is why they are there with the most wonderful raspberry/lemon cake with Swiss butter cream icing).  It is a better idea to do a bit more research before you make any major decisions. Beware of vendors who are pushing on the spot purchases or packages that are only available if you pay that day

Bridal exhibitions are fun.  There is wine and champagne to sip, cake and cocktail hors d’oeuvres to taste, massages to get, vendors to meet, DJs/bands to hear, fashion shows to watch and prizes to win (honeymoon packages are still some of the best prizes).  But along with all the excitement, there is some business to take care of. Make it easy on yourself by planning ahead and maximizing your time spent there.  You will find the experience much more rewarding. 

Ali & Brandon Hux 10.8.2011

My line of work affords me the privilege of meeting and working with some amazing people.  I especially love weddings because they create once-in-a-lifetime moments all the way up to the big day.  My brides often become more than clients, because we spend really important time together.  In perfect situations, the groom is equally invested in the bond, as it was with Ali Burroughs and Brandon Hux. 

When I met my "Ali Girl", she had a huge planning portfolio that she rolled around, filled to the brim with business cards, swatches, cut outs and ideas.  However, she had also just moved back to her native Atlanta to start a new job, close on a house and still share commute duty, some weekends to see Brandon.  He was still living in NC along with their 2 dogs, 2 cats and turtle. With all of the "life" stuff going on, Ali was not exactly enthusiastic about the planning part of the wedding.  She knew what she wanted, but felt a bit overwhelmed by all of the details and to-dos.  To her credit, she had made some major commitments to a wedding date, venue, dress, colors and her signature flower, gerbera daisies.  As we worked together, all of the rest fell right into place. 

Brandon and Ali are an adorable couple, who are so obviously crazy about each other.  In the 6 months we spent planning (and eating) and tasting and choosing, we came to know each other pretty well.  That was pretty important in the final days of planning when we had to find a new venue after the relationship with the previously chosen site went sour.... 10 days before the wedding, to be exact.  But blessings show up in some interesting packages.  Little Gardens ended up being the perfect location for a beautiful day! Their event staff hopped into motion so quickly and professionally, I ended up having less to worry about than I would have ever expected with such a tight time frame.  The bride and groom were treated like the stars they are and the guests were impressed with everything, especially the food catered by A Divine Event (one of my favorites).

Photographer, Rebecca Bunch did a fantastic job of capturing the details of the day:

 

Bouquets by Paul Brummer of Rooms in Bloom



Tag Trees for Guest Seating by Thought That Counts Events





Bride wore her mother's veil refurbished by Jet Taylor of Mecklenburg Bridal



Bride and Mom all smiles!

 Food and Florals by A Divine Event were FANTASTIC!



One of my guaranteed teary moments, Father/Daughter Dance...



This was the pommander ball she was carrying... Either the photos were taking too long, or we have a budding florist on our hands.

Groom's Cake - Raspberry Cheesecake

Father of the Bride performed double duty as driver!

Lovely, Lavender filled favor bags!  Everything smelled wonderful.

Photographer: Photography by Rebecca
Event Venue: Little Gardens
Bouquets/Corsages/Boutonnieres: Rooms in Bloom
Caterer: A Divine Event
Wedding Cake: Celso's Cakes

Bridezilla Prevention Boot Camp...



COMING SOON!




We have all seen at least one episode of reality television with a woman to be wed behaving badly.  In fact, there is now a proper name for such a woman, "Bridezilla".  But at the root of every "Zillas" bad behavior is usually unmanageable stress.  Sadly, that stress could probably have been prevented with a few simple measures. 

What causes a bride to become a Bridezilla?

Bridezillism^(TM)... a condition that causes a bride to respond and/or react to situations and people uncharacteristically as a result of wedding planning stress.  This stress is most common in the absence of preventive maintenance or adequate support.  Strains of this condition have been known to show up in close friends, family members and/or especially the wedding party with most cases reported in the mother of the bride/groom.

Now that we know what causes a Bridezilla, how do we help the newly engaged steer clear of this path?  Bridezilla Prevention Boot Camp!  We have put together an informative, impactful series of preparatory webinars for the newly engaged bride who has a wedding to plan and no idea where to begin.  Before, after or while you are searching to hire your planner, you need to make sure you get in on this information!

After the Boot Camp Series you will be equipped to handle some major pain points:

• Beginning Planning
• Where to start and not feel like you are falling behind
• What to do 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th
• The most important thing to plan an absolutely perfect wedding
• Involving Others in Your Wedding Plans/Planning Process
• What are the roles of the Bridesmaids, Maid/Matron of Honor and everyone else?
• How do I handle his mother/my mother?
• How do I ask for help and not lose control of my wedding?
• Vendor Selection... How, Who and Where Do I Choose?
• How to find the best vendors
• Contract questions I have to ask and terms to understand
• Enlisting Help
• How to decide if and when I should hire a wedding planner
• Warning signs that a coordinator may not be the fit for me
• Keeping My Cool While Everyone Tells me to, "Relax"
• Setting realistic expectations for me, my honey and everyone else
• Taking wedding planning breaks (days or even weeks off is okay)

This is just a snapshot of the information that you will receive.  But here comes the best part... If you are one of the first 50 to sign up for the 1st in the series, when the Boot Camp goes live, you will get the first sesson completely FREE plus 15 minutes of one-on-one Q&A time with me.  Subscribe to the blog today to make sure you are in the know for the GO LIVE date.

The truth is that the Boot Camp Cost is going to be a deal.  You get professional, behind the scenes planning insight, information and tools PLUS, you sit in on the session that fits your schedule.  No stress there!  The information is available when you need it and the tools are yours to keep throughout your planning.

We can't wait to get started.  Subscribe today as your first step towards prevention!

When Your Gut Screams ‘No’, Listen

Trusting Your Instincts When Selecting Venues, Vendors and Value

One of the scary things about wedding planning, for brides who have never done it before, is the potential for mistakes and disasters like those we see on TV.  This is one of the biggest days of your life, so it makes sense that you want everything to be just right.  In your mind, your dress, your venue and your decorations are perfect.  You can hear the music that’s playing when you walk down the aisle and during your first dance as the Mrs.  You have been thinking about some of these details since the day you realized, “He’s the one”.   And along with all of the details being perfect, you want everyone to have an amazing time at your wedding. You want to have the most amazing time at your wedding. 

So what mistakes are possible? Countless.  Why? Because, you probably haven’t planned a wedding.   And, isn’t that the reason you hire professionals to help you manage through the wedding jungle?  Who knew there were so many choices and decisions to make? How much should the right amount of flowers cost?  How do I know when I am getting a good deal, rate or package price at the venue?  What do I do to make sure vendors are trustworthy?  Start by trusting your instincts…your gut.

One of my cutest couples learned to trust their gut the hard way.  They found their venue first and then me.  And although they loved everything about the venue itself, they were not feeling the love from the owners.  In fact, they questioned whether or not they should change venues more than once.  This was the first red flag.  In almost every correspondence, the owners mentioned how busy they were and that they would get back to them as soon as they could.  This made the bride and groom feel like there wasn’t time for their wedding or their many questions.  After reaching out to schedule a visit to meet the owners, I began to understand why my bride and groom were uneasy.  The owners had done hundreds of weddings at their beautiful location.  However, they weren’t communicating in a way that made this couple feel like would not just be one of the many.

After months of planning, the relationship with the venue only soured.  The bride and groom continued to have questions and the owners continued to be “very busy giving tours, maintaining the property, answering leads and booking brides”. In one situation, the owners became angry because they had extended a discount to the couple without first letting them know what the real cost was.  It is difficult for anyone to appreciate a gift they don’t know they have received.  Communicating actual cost up front would have helped the bride and groom establish the value of their package and then appreciate the gift of the discount.  Instead, they were confused and hurt when the owner expressed frustration.

So, how do you know when to move forward from a venue or vendor?  Here are some tips I follow as a wedding pro and as a consumer:

·     When you are visiting a venue and you see, hear, smell or feel something that brings up a question, ask it –Your intuition is trained to pick up on things that aren’t quite right to or for you.  Those not-right-things probably aren’t strange and sinister every time, but it makes sense to get the answers earlier rather than too late.  It’s always a good idea to read the online reviews thoroughly.  Even if the reviewer gives 5 stars, they may still share negative feedback.  Look for trends on specifics like attention to detail, professionalism of the staff and overall treatment of guests.  Those are areas that you don’t want to sacrifice for a pretty backdrop

·     If any vendor makes you feel like you are wasting their time with your questions, run – Most brides are planning their first wedding for the first time.  You aren’t supposed to be the expert on flowers, the professional florist is.  It is a part of their job to answer your questions, no matter that they have done so for 50 brides before you that day.  A vendor that is impatient in meeting with you, may also be impatient in meeting your needs and getting your details just right.  Talent should not excuse a vendor from providing good customer service

·     If a vendor describes your wedding as their masterpiece, proceed with caution – There are some very talented florists, designers and artists who create beautiful things and scenery every day.  However, none of that matters if they do not get your vision right.  Make sure that you hear what you want to see.  If you aren’t sure about their interpretation of the pictures and diagrams you have shown them, tell them immediately.  Hoping they will “get it” and pull everything together on your wedding day is a huge chance to take for a once-in-a-lifetime event and almost a guarantee for disappointment.  Communicate clearly and consistently about what you have in mind all the way through the process

·     If a vendor doesn’t make you feel special, take the hint – You are planning one wedding…yours. Be very careful about giving your business to anyone who makes you feel like your wedding day is one of hundreds for the year.  Top vendors will be in demand, that is a given.  But a true professional will give you the attention you need and deserve and knows how to make their schedule accommodate their clients.  If you don’t feel valued, walk away

In the end, the young couple had a very beautiful wedding… at another venue.  They were not able to bridge the gap with the owners and, unfortunately,  did not trust them with this very important day, despite loving the venue.  We were fortunate to find a location that met all of their needs and exceeded their expectations in customer service  This story ended happily.  But a tough lesson was learned.

Your wedding day is special.  It is a once-in-a-lifetime moment that you will remember for the rest of your life.  When you choose vendors and professionals, it is okay to be excited and expect them to be excited for you.  If something isn’t clear, ask questions.  If you aren’t sure about anything, delay making a decision, or paying a deposit until you can gather more information, time permitting.  Planning far enough in advance affords you the time to choose vendors well.  If you hire a planner, share any concerns you may have with them.  They may have the history and background to address your issues quickly or find other referrals who can.

Finally, be realistic and fair in your choosing.  Some personalities work better together than others.  If you and a vendor simply do not share the same “vibe”, decide how important that is to you if you love their work. This may not be a good idea for the planner, who is your right hand and, sometimes, your representative.  But, it may be okay that you aren’t warm fuzzy with the baker who can create the Lemon/Raspberry cake with Swiss butter cream icing of your dreams.  A vendor has provided you with good value when they communicate to set proper expectations, deliver consistently on their promises and especially on event day.  You deserve that. Your gut just makes sure you know it.

Trust Your Gut!

Trusting Your Instincts When Planning Your Wedding



Would you go into a car dealership and buy a car you don't like?  After hours, weeks and even months of researching, would you let the dealer convince you to take the model they had in mind for you?  Didn't think so.  So, why is it so difficult to speak up when the florist, the designer, the baker or even your wedding planner are not on the same page with you and the vision you have for your wedding day?  It doesn't have to be that way.

Quality vendors do have a lot of experience, which is a benefit to you.  However, your wedding is a first for them...or anyone for that matter because you and your fiance are a unique couple.  Even if you have been married before, there has never been a wedding like the one you want to have now.  When you put a plan together for the design and the flow of your day, it ought to feel one-of-a-kind, because you are.  If that plan isn't a map to what you envision, let your vendors know.  If you don't, they can't fix it.  Worse, you will end up settling for someone else's vision, and disappointment is pretty much impossible to overcome after your wedding day.

If you are in the beginning stages of planning and aren't sure how everything should come together, you still know what you want.  Even if you are challenged with putting your vision into words, there are steps you can take to make sure your day reflects you:

1.   Start Collecting Photos/Images -  You have a vision of what your dream wedding looks like.  Unfortunately, until you share it, that picture only exists in your head.  A good planner/designer/event director will be able to pull elements from your photos and put together a visual collage.  We put together a  "Vision Board" for our couples, so that we can be sure we are on the same page before choosing any event elements.  Even if you can't explain what you want, we know what you have in mind, once we see a picture

2.   Refer Back to Visual Collage/VIsion Boards Throughout Planning - Your Board becomes a road map of sorts, because it reminds you of what you are working towards.  Make sure that you refer to it when you begin selecting florals, decorative elements, table linens, stationery, etc.  Even if you choose a detail different than what is pictured on your board, you'll be sure to stay true to your overall vision

3.   Communicate Quickly When Something Isn't Working - Remember, that you and your fiance set the tone for your day.  But in order to have the wedding you envision, you have to let your vendors know if something (sometimes someone)  is not quite right, when they have time to fix it.  If you have that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach (small or growling), trust it and say it!  A professional desires to meet his/her clients' expectations, so getting it right is crucial.  Beware of the vendor who makes you feel like you are wasting their time with your opinion and/or reasonable changes.  The worst time to hear that a bride was unhappy is after her wedding day...

4.  Trust Your Feelings  - I am meeting far too many brides who leave vendor meetings feeling  under valued... after paying top dollar.  If a vendor does not make you feel important or that your wedding day is special, reconsider giving them your business.  A good vendor is not just talented, they are professional.  They may work 3-10 weddings every weekend, but this is likely your first and only wedding.  You should be made to feel like a priority.  Vendors who work well together usually have similar work styles, so ask your favorite vendors for referrals.  Chances are that if your planner is patient, organized and resourceful  he/she will know others who are too.  Above all else, if you have the feeling early on...or even late that a vendor is not going to work out after you have tried to communicate with them, move on

Our instincts are loyal. They aren't privy to the background stories of others or their political ties... they just know us.  When your instincts tell you something is not quite right, listen and investigate.  Once you know the facts, act on your behalf.  Do not wait for "things to work themselves out", particularly when it comes to planning your wedding of a lifetime.

There are some wonderful, talented vendors in this industry.  But just as you are unique, so should the team pulled together for your wedding be.  Be selective and make sure that you are equally excited to work with one another.

Knowing the Right Once-in-a-Lifetime Ingredients

Making Every Couple’s Wedding Experience One-of-a-Kind

Bare with me, because this is going to sound a little braggy in the beginning, but I promise it won’t stay there. I just need to make a few things clear so that I can make a point. Here goes:

In addition to being a self-proclaimed foodie, I am an excellent cook. I am not just a good cook, or even a great cook… I am an excellent cook. How can I make such a bold claim? Simple… years of feedback, demand, research, practice and eating. Yes, I did say eating. Because at the end of the day (and sometimes the beginning), that is the main reason I have become an excellent cook. I started out and remain an excellent eater.

My mother and my grandmother were also excellent cooks. Both were raised in small town Louisiana where Cajun cuisine was born and it is the foundation that I pull from when I’m cooking. I owe them for teaching me what I know today. But in my adult years, I also learned the power of experimentation and how powerful it can be to creatively experiment with your gut.

Not very many people, outside of close family and friends, know that I cook like I do. There is a reason for that. I associate the creation of a meal with love. Quite honestly, I associate the creation of anything special and beautiful with love. So, for me, meal preparation and love for those who will be served work together. I treat it like a gift. When I put a menu together, I take into account who I am serving, when and where we are eating, and the occasion I am hoping to build around that meal. Since all of those variables create once-in-a-lifetime situations, the meal will always reflect that. Even if I do menu cards for a dinner, or a lunch, it is merely a prop to heighten the moment for those I am serving. It is not to catalog the menu that has already been served. Every meal should be as delicious and unique as those who are sharing it.

When I take on new couples and clients, I am personally involved in their event and ultimately their happiness from the start. I care about how they feel for one another and for their guests. It is extremely important to get to know them beyond just the list of what they want, who they want and the colors they want it in. My goal during the planning stage is to figure out the main ingredients for the event. Putting together a plan is very similar to creating a menu. The first step is to know who I am serving and what they really like. When planning a once-in-a-lifetime event, try never to settle for things that are just, “okay”. Second, I build one or two star elements in the meal. So, even on simple nights like, “Wing Night” in our house, I have flavors that everyone loves, like Spicy Buffalo and Garlic Parmesan and a few new ones for them to try like, Asian Apricot Glaze (which is now a favorite). I make every sauce from scratch and I pay attention to the quality of the sides, because they are just as important to the whole meal as the wings themselves. Just like on “Wing Night”, every detail of your party or wedding is important, should be well executed and work together to reflect those who will share it.

One thing that irks some of my family and friends is that I don’t write down recipes. They probably think it’s because I don’t want to share, but that isn’t the case at all. I cook by memory, feel and taste, so I rarely have a recipe in front of me. Most of the dishes that have become family favorites started as experiments with ingredients I knew I liked in different combinations. There are just certain flavors that work well together, but I am always open to changing things up according to what is in season, available or just tastes great. This same principle holds true when I design gifts, favors and/or event elements. Even with tried and true ideas, you can always add your own “flavor” to guarantee that it’s one-of-a-kind.

When planning your party, your wedding or your anniversary, think about what the most important ingredient of the day is for you. Build your plan around that and don’t be afraid to add your own flavor to the mix. If something doesn’t work, change it. Keep in mind that something that may have worked for countless others, may not for you. Also, give yourself enough time to execute any idea or project you have not done before. It should be done well, or not at all. You get one shot at once-in-a-lifetime moments. They deserve to be one-of-a-kind, because you are.

Dream in Color & Snap Your Fingers in Your Sleep

Creating a Soundtrack for Your Event

Like many little girls, my childhood memories had Barbie in the mix. I had the different ones, like Peaches and Cream Barbie, Crystal Barbie, Bridal Barbie (of course). One of my favorites was Workout Barbie. Something about her electric blue unitard, hot pink ballet shoes and striped leg warmers really got my attention. Dare I say I thought she was sexy, at the age of 9? I would have worn an outfit just like it to class at Maria Priadka’s School of Dance…if I’d had any other mother than my own.

One thing I remember specifically, is that my version of “playing dolls” was different than most of my friends’. They insisted on weaving these elaborate (read boring) tales of doll life and scripting appropriate dialogue to go with it. It always seemed like our flow was interrupted by someone directing us with, “Now you say such and such and I’ll say so and so”. I preferred to pump up my radio and dress my dolls in outfits I thought went with the music, creating a “scene”. I could do this on my own for hours, and hours at a time. Each song demanded a different look, a different pose and sometimes a different setting. But I remember being intent on connecting what I saw to what I heard.

Now that I am an adult, songs are like a trigger for memories, some good and some not. What I find interesting, is how detailed the memories become when I can connect them to a song. I remember what I wore, where I was and how it smelled after hearing just a few bars of music. When I’m asleep, the settings in my dreams are in vivid color and there is always background music. I host events, see paintings and scenes in my dreams, sometimes long before I can even use the ideas. I am learning to write them down, but mostly the mental attachment to the music is enough.

As an event designer and planner, I really like the first meeting with my clients. They are sooo excited about what they want to create and celebrate, that I can’t help but be excited too. I get them to talk about what they see in their mind’s eye, because that is what they will be anticipating. After they share all of the details, I ask them to name songs that make them feel the way they want their event to feel. You might say that I create a soundtrack for their wedding or party or proposal. After our meeting I listen to their songs and begin to match what I hear to what my clients have said they want to see. Music and color are huge factors for creating unique event designs. People respond to both very personally. My secret is to mesh them in a foundation that sets up everything to work together. When I present the event plan to clients, their music is playing in the background, so they can start feeling it right away.

In the planning stages of your wedding, milestone party or proposal, think about how you want to feel and how you want your guests to feel. Those feelings tell your brain to commit that moment to memory. Have some songs in mind and share them with your event planner. Second, collect tons of pictures of items, flowers, designs in colors that you love. They don’t have to match or even make sense for your event. A good event designer will be able to pull a distinct style from what you are drawn to. And last, don’t be afraid to be daring, different and totally you. Once-in-a-lifetime events deserve one-of-a-kind event design. That can only happen when you stay true to what you want and not go with everything you have seen done already. Someone else’s design in your color scheme is not enough for my brides. If you can describe it, we can make it happen.

In honor of that young girl, and my faithful Barbie brigade, today I am going to listen to some of my old favorites. Those memories always make me smile. And once in a while, I still use some of my early design ideas. They still work, because at my core, I haven’t really changed. And I can still spend hours at a time creating a world, a look, a scene to the soundtrack of my life. What songs will define your moment? Let’s start building your soundtrack today.