Understanding the Cost of Wedding 'Spirits'

In many cases, brides can expect to spend nearly half of their wedding budget on the reception alone. However, they rarely understand how much they are spending on each invited guest. Want to know just how big that number is? Add up your estimated total for food & beverage (starting with pre-ceremony cocktails), venue cost, equipment rental, every piece of decor, flowers, music, cake, servers...everything. Then, divide that total by the number of guests you anticipate hosting. That number is how much you are truly spending on each guest, not the per plate cost your caterer quotes you. For example, if your total estimated reception cost is $12,800 for 100 people, you are spending $128 per guest. If nothing else does, that number alone should help you streamline your guest list.

When you want to maximize your wedding budget, it is important to understand and manage all of the costs for what you are planning. Left unattended (literally) the bar is one area that can wreak havoc on maintaining budget control. If you decide that you do want to serve alcohol at your wedding reception, here are some tips that will help you keep costs down:

1. Understand Your Venue's Alcohol Policy - Some venues will only allow you to use their bar and their licensed bartenders. Find out what package options are available and if they meet your needs before signing a contract. The convenience may be worth the extra cost. If you are allowed to bring in your own alcohol, be sure that there are no penalty fees to have the venue serve it. This can add up to $15 per bottle to your tab. In some cases this may cost you more than the wine. Important, know who is providing the ice
2. Serve Wine and Beer - You can save quite a bit by offering your guests just wine and beer. If you want something more personal, consider adding a signature drink to the menu. Some bartenders will create one just for you and it can be pre-mixed ahead of time for quick service or on display at cocktail hour
3. Hire a Bartender - Even though you will pay the bartender, he/she will pay for themselves by maintaining controls on individual consumption. In a self-serve bar, guests may waste and/or over pour. A bartender also makes other money saving options elegant , like serving from a keg rather than passing out individual beer bottles
4. Enlist the Expertise of Local Wine Stores - There is nothing wrong with joining the local wine club to get insider information on unadvertised specials. This is the move of a savvy bride. Find out if your liquor/package store offers case discounts on wine, beer and champagne. Also, make sure they will let you return unopened bottles of wine and champagne before you order
5. Consider Early 'Last Call' - When figuring out how much alcohol to buy, you will need to take into account the number of hours the bar remains open. If service cuts off 30-60 minutes before the end of the reception, you not only save that consumption cost, you help to limit the danger for guests who insist on having "one for the road"

Professional planners, caterers and food and beverage directors have formulas they use to estimate how much alcohol you may need for your reception. Factors like time of day, guest preferences, etc dictate how that formula is used. Here are 2 tools that may help you:

Drink Calculator From Evite

WineLog Drink Calculator

Keep in mind that these tools are designed to make sure you err on the side of abundance, not saving. I recommend that you go through your guest list and subtract those you know do not drink from the total count.

Keeping tabs (you should be used to my quirky puns by now) on your bar expenses is a smart way to maintain your overall budget. Enlisting one or more of the above tips can save you hundreds, if not, thousands of dollars. Now, who won't drink to that?

Your Wedding Plans Won't Please Everyone...

Today I received a call from a frenzied bride whose wedding is less than 4 weeks away. She had been chatting with her grandmother about final arrangements when the subject of flowers came up. Her grandmother asked for more details about what she had chosen. Before I could answer, my bride cried, she told me what the worst flowers for a wedding were, in her opinion. Every single flower she named, I have in the centerpieces! Oh boy...

I listened while she vented...and vented some more. This grandmother had given her money towards her wedding expenses. It was clear she felt that her grandmother had a right to share her opinion, which of course she did. What seemed to be causing her the most stress, however, was that she interpreted her grandmother's opinion as a call to action to change the flowers.

Involving others in your wedding planning can be a challenge. Some brides feel like they aren't getting enough support and some feel like they get too much. Every bride's situation is different. But there are some steps you can take to minimize conflict and set clear expectations when you start planning. Here are some good ones:

1. Decide Who the Wedding Plan Decision Maker(s) is/are - Usually the brides' top choice to get decision making help about the wedding are the groom and/or her own mother. Sometimes a sister, aunt, bff or godmother are the go-to person. Whomever you choose, make sure you let them know you are depending on them and how much involvement you want them to have. I have seen brides who want their mother to be more involved get frustrated when mom tries to let her daughter make all the choices... overwhelming her. I'm sure we all have heard stories about the mothers who take over, so no need to spend time there. Letting decision makers know up front what is expected takes away any guesswork. When you hire your vendors and planners, make sure you let them know who your trusted decision makers are
2. Enlist the Help of Dependable People - This seems like it would be common sense. Unfortunately, sometimes politics are involved in choosing your bridal party. But asking your fiance's sister to be a bridesmaid neither obligates her to nor implies she will help you with your planning. Be honest with yourself about who you ask for help. If you plan to enlist family and/or friends for catering, decorations, music, cake, hosting, etc please choose those who you know will deliver. This is especially important if you are thinking about not having a planner who can manage those details and the people the day of the wedding
3. Communicate Clearly- Wedding planning is emotional and can even be challenging at times. But if you do not communicate your vision clearly, it can throw the stress meter way up. Make sure you take the time to sit down with your planner and that she/he is speaking your wedding day language back to you. If she/he isn't painting the picture you have in mind, say so as soon as you realize it. Your wedding day is not the time to let them know that you aren't on the same page...or worse after the wedding is over. If you aren't sure what you have in mind, say it. This is likely your first wedding, so no one expects you to be the expert. If they do, run. A good planner will be able to point you in the right direction to make a choice that is right for you and your celebration

Just as in the marriage ahead, wedding planning will make you choose your battles. My young bride listened to her grandmother's unsolicited opinion and heard, must change flowers. But I reminded her that the reason she had picked the florist in the first place was because of the work she had seen with these very flowers. The mock-ups had been stunning. Second, these were her favorite flowers because her fiance had brought them to her every friday for the past 2 years.

My bride relaxed and took a deep breath. She realized that her grandmother had no idea what flowers she had chosen. Plus, she was totally confident in the florist's ability to create beautiful centerpieces. Those flowers made her happy, so it made sense to be surrounded by them on her wedding day. Her happiness was what her grandmother had clearly stated she wanted, so no changes were necessary.

Standing your ground doesn't mean preparing for battle. It can often be as simple as trusting your instincts that you made the right decision. If something isn't working, you can almost always change it. But staying true to what you want your celebration to be is a pretty good guarantee that it will be beautiful and one-of-a-kind because it reflects you. Have your once-in-a-lifetime day your way.

Setting the Pace for Your Wedding Plan

He finally popped the question and now you have the man of your dreams leading your futur.   On your finger is a beautiful, sparkling reminder of his love. And in your mind? The million and one things to be done before you can walk (run) down that aisle. Suddenly your ring becomes just a little bit heavier.

One of the first questions you have is probably, "What should I do first?" This is usually followed by, "Should I choose my date or the venue first?" or "Should I already have my dress ordered?" My answer? Take a deep breath.

You want everything to be perfect, so you want to make sure you are doing the right things at the right time. You don't want to be limited in your choices, so it makes sense not to wait until last minute on big decisions. You are excited and nervous and it is easy to let wedding preparation take over your life. But you have to pace yourself.

It is a cliche, but the fact remains, Rome wasn't built in a day. Your wedding plan will serve you much better if you allow yourself a reasonable amount of time to work it through. Trying to plan everything all at once will overwhelm you. This is how brides get burned out and/or become Bridezillas.

So, what should you be doing first? Here is a good place to start:

1. Decide on a Date - Your wedding date will be the driving force of your wedding plan. It will dictate how much or how little planning time you have available as well as venue/vendor availability. Think about the weather, surrounding holidays and travel schedules when you set your date, especially for a destination wedding. If you care more about the venue then the exact date, be flexible
2. Come up With and Stick to a Budget - Every bride has a budget, whether it is small, moderate or high-end. Wedding planning without one will guarantee a loss of control and over spending every time. Put your numbers on paper and refer to it for limits before any purchase. Make room in a tighter budget by not spending money on areas that aren't important to you, or limiting the number of guests for the reception. Focus on spending well, not just less. Also, having a smaller budget does not mean you can't afford to hire a wedding planner. In most scenarios, you cannot afford not to have one. She/He will have experience in knowing the areas you can save money without sacrificing the feel of your event. A good planner will also save you time and have relationships with vendors that offer quality service and products regardless of budget
3. Order your gown -  Once you have set your budget, you are ready to go shopping! Your dress will set the tone for everything else, especially the bridesmaid dresses (which should be within your next set of to-dos), so it is important that be your first purchase

After you finish these 3 things, you'll have set the framework for the rest of your wedding plan. Now, is also a good time to talk with and choose your wedding planner, if you haven't already. Make sure that your planner's availability, communication and work style match your own. This is your once-in-a-lifetime event, so you need to feel comfortable that they will bring your vision to life within the guidelines you set together. Your wedding day is not the time to discover you are not on the same page. 

To set up a FREE consultation, tell us about your plans and to find out if we are a match for your wedding celebration, call 888.236.7261.

You are one-of-a-kind, your once-in-a-lifetime should be too.

Pinterest…Hype or Help?





If you use social media sites like Facebook or Twitter, you have likely heard about a new web tool called, “Pinterest”.  But if you aren’t into social bookmarking, you may still be unclear about what Pinterest is, what it does and how it might be useful to you as a planning tool for your wedding and beyond. 

I have to admit that I didn’t buy into the hype of Pinterest, at first use.  Even though I have favorite’s lists a mile long each for Personal and Professional sites I refer to, I didn’t consider myself a social bookmarker.  That changed one day, when I was working on a storyboard for one of my brides.  I sent her my first version, and she directed me to hers… on Pinterest.  As confirmation that I was on the right page, they looked almost identical.

Pinterest, and bookmarking sites like it, allows you to create a virtual board and “pin” your favorite photos from the web and links onto that board.  You can create a different board for every different thing you like.  Now, this is not an ad for Pinterest.  But, I do like to share tools and information that help clients make informed decisions about their wedding while they stay true to their own vision.  Social bookmarking tools can help with that in a number of ways.  Here are just a few:

1.   Keep Random Clippings In One Virtual Place – You are busy and on the go.  You might have time to flip through bridal magazines now and again.  But you don’t have time to sit down and cut out every picture or idea that speaks to you.  Social bookmarking tools allow you to do this virtually and even organize your clips in whatever order they make sense to you

2.   The Information Is Easily Shareable And Discoverable – “Bookmarking” or “Pinning” photos, articles , recipes or whatever not only keeps you organized, it allows you to share your stuff with others.  In the same vein, you get to peak at new and different stuff that others think is pretty neat too and keep what you like

3.   Helps You To Define and/or Find Your Style – Many of my brides know exactly what they want their wedding style to be.  But there are those who have “an idea” but not a specific direction they can define.  The first assignment I give them is to collect and then send me pictures of whatever speaks to them.  Seeing all of the different elements together helps me to understand what they like and to discover common themes or colors they prefer.  I use that information to put together a storyboard for the event because a picture really is worth a thousand words.  Social bookmarking tools can help you make sense out of a lot of random ideas for a wedding, home décor, new wardrobe or anything. It is a lot simpler to define your own style once you see it compiled and displayed

I must admit, I still have my fair share of clippings and articles that I can’t seem to part with.  And I doubt that I will become addicted to Pinterest or any other social media site because I know that time is still the most valuable commodity within which I can be creative.  But I do believe in using media to maximize your efforts.  A great tool is still a hot find.  Sharing is even hotter.

Here are a few of the sites we use regularly:

http://Pinterest.com (Our board: http://pinterest.com/ttceventsatl/ )

http://lover.ly (Our board: http://lover.ly/ttcevents/bin/loved#1 )

http://www.stumbleupon.com

Be sure to post the links to your boards in the comments section below so we can share!



Keeping the Guest List From Stealing Your Joy

If your parents ever threw a dinner party, holiday party or attended a block party, you have at least heard some discussion about guest lists.  At our house, my mom wrote out her guest lists (always in pencil) and added/subtracted names based on various things which sometimes included my dad’s input.  I remember that certain sets of friends were invited to certain get-togethers, dinners, holidays, etc, as  rarely was there a “catch all” event at our house.  Having studied this art of combining people, I am now an expert at understanding that the true success of social gatherings lies in the meshing of personalities and not table decor.  But weddings are different.  Your wedding day is about you, your groom and the life you are beginning together.  Everyone on your guest list isn’t required to know each other, or even (take a deep breath) to get along.  If you want them to be there to share the day with you, send them an invitation.   Sounds simple, right?

Unfortunately, wedding guest lists are not always simple.  In some cases, they take on a life of their own.  I have had meetings with clients for the sole purpose of pruning/cutting/mediating the guest list.   I have met brides whose aunts, uncles, cousins, even parents stopped speaking to them over… the guest list.   In many cases it wasn’t even that these people had been left off the list themselves.  Some were put off because their special request to have so and so included, could not be met.  What about these lists makes people so emotional even to the point of being irrational?

Weddings are emotional events.  They are once-in-a-lifetime, beautiful and people love a good wedding. Even when I’m not working, I love the excitement and genuine emotion of a wedding.  But when I am working, a good part of what I do for the day involves managing the guests, so I understand when brides worry about the potential for drama locked within the guest list.  Let’s see if we can’t prevent some of that drama…

Many brides (and mother-of-the-brides) begin compiling the guest list before a budget has been determined and/or the venue has been chosen.  A modest budget, short of offering cake and punch, will not accommodate a guest list of several hundred people.  In similar fashion, your dreams of a small, intimate celebration with your closest and dearest may be trampled by the 250 “oldest friends” your mother insists would be insulted if not included.  Resist the urge to put any names down until you have decided what kind of wedding you and your fiancé want to have, how much you want to spend and where you would like the wedding to be.  Once you have determined these 3 things, minimize guest list drama by:

1.      Clarifying who will make final decisions on the guest list– Some brides and grooms ask for lists from both sets of parents when they are compiling names.  This works better when there is a generous budget to accommodate a larger venue and more guests.  However, if you and your groom have decided that you will manage your list, yourselves, make sure you are both communicating that in the same way to both families, together

2.       Understanding the true cost per guest to you – Sitting down with the caterer and choosing a menu option for $49.95 per person does not represent the true cost to invite someone to your wedding/reception.  In order for your guest to sit down for dinner, there must be a chair, a table setting and perhaps a chair cover.  For every 8-10 guests, add another table, another centerpiece, table linens and perhaps another server.  During dinner, there is likely a beverage option or open bar cost that is separate from the catering cost.  Once you know what it will cost to deck your reception hall, feed your guests and make sure their whistle is wet divide that ballpark by the number of guests you estimate coming.  That is your true per guest cost.  It is likely closer to $100 by the time everything is said and served…per guest.   When my couples are on the fence about certain guests or even work acquaintances being invited, I ask if they would spend that true per guest cost to take that person out to dinner.  This one question usually works to reduce at least 10 – 15 % of the list

3.       Making the list a reflection of what is important to you for your wedding day – Deciding the tone of your wedding beforehand will really help you tailor a guest list to fit.  If you don’t want a lot of fuss and drama, then you probably instinctively know who not to invite.  Choosing a small, intimate location commands that the guest list reflect that.  Stick with whatever you decide, whether it be more is more or less is more

4.       Not sending out Save-the-Dates unless you intend to invite – I know that this seems obvious.  But sometimes brides get so excited that obvious goes out the window.  You will add drama to your celebration if you try to cut your list back after the fact.  That is why budget and venue decisions should be done before the guest list

5.       Letting yourself off the hook – You get married one time…to each other.  If you focus on pleasing everyone else, you will miss the mark of your day, which should be to share the celebration of your love with loved ones.  If you are financially able and willing to invite everyone you know to your wedding, go for it.  If you are neither, then be realistic with yourselves first, and honest with others throughout.  There is no crime in having the wedding of your dreams, at the venue you choose, with the people you want, within the budget you have set

Guest lists are nothing more than a planning tool and should be managed like all other tools leading up to and on your wedding day.  The natural progression of a guest list is that it becomes a seating chart for your reception.  It may take a few twists and turns along the way.  But, a good planner will help you manage it from inception, to invitations, to RSVP collection through to a final headcount for the caterer.  Sounds simple, right?  Yours can be!