Knowing the Right Once-in-a-Lifetime Ingredients

Making Every Couple’s Wedding Experience One-of-a-Kind

Bare with me, because this is going to sound a little braggy in the beginning, but I promise it won’t stay there. I just need to make a few things clear so that I can make a point. Here goes:

In addition to being a self-proclaimed foodie, I am an excellent cook. I am not just a good cook, or even a great cook… I am an excellent cook. How can I make such a bold claim? Simple… years of feedback, demand, research, practice and eating. Yes, I did say eating. Because at the end of the day (and sometimes the beginning), that is the main reason I have become an excellent cook. I started out and remain an excellent eater.

My mother and my grandmother were also excellent cooks. Both were raised in small town Louisiana where Cajun cuisine was born and it is the foundation that I pull from when I’m cooking. I owe them for teaching me what I know today. But in my adult years, I also learned the power of experimentation and how powerful it can be to creatively experiment with your gut.

Not very many people, outside of close family and friends, know that I cook like I do. There is a reason for that. I associate the creation of a meal with love. Quite honestly, I associate the creation of anything special and beautiful with love. So, for me, meal preparation and love for those who will be served work together. I treat it like a gift. When I put a menu together, I take into account who I am serving, when and where we are eating, and the occasion I am hoping to build around that meal. Since all of those variables create once-in-a-lifetime situations, the meal will always reflect that. Even if I do menu cards for a dinner, or a lunch, it is merely a prop to heighten the moment for those I am serving. It is not to catalog the menu that has already been served. Every meal should be as delicious and unique as those who are sharing it.

When I take on new couples and clients, I am personally involved in their event and ultimately their happiness from the start. I care about how they feel for one another and for their guests. It is extremely important to get to know them beyond just the list of what they want, who they want and the colors they want it in. My goal during the planning stage is to figure out the main ingredients for the event. Putting together a plan is very similar to creating a menu. The first step is to know who I am serving and what they really like. When planning a once-in-a-lifetime event, try never to settle for things that are just, “okay”. Second, I build one or two star elements in the meal. So, even on simple nights like, “Wing Night” in our house, I have flavors that everyone loves, like Spicy Buffalo and Garlic Parmesan and a few new ones for them to try like, Asian Apricot Glaze (which is now a favorite). I make every sauce from scratch and I pay attention to the quality of the sides, because they are just as important to the whole meal as the wings themselves. Just like on “Wing Night”, every detail of your party or wedding is important, should be well executed and work together to reflect those who will share it.

One thing that irks some of my family and friends is that I don’t write down recipes. They probably think it’s because I don’t want to share, but that isn’t the case at all. I cook by memory, feel and taste, so I rarely have a recipe in front of me. Most of the dishes that have become family favorites started as experiments with ingredients I knew I liked in different combinations. There are just certain flavors that work well together, but I am always open to changing things up according to what is in season, available or just tastes great. This same principle holds true when I design gifts, favors and/or event elements. Even with tried and true ideas, you can always add your own “flavor” to guarantee that it’s one-of-a-kind.

When planning your party, your wedding or your anniversary, think about what the most important ingredient of the day is for you. Build your plan around that and don’t be afraid to add your own flavor to the mix. If something doesn’t work, change it. Keep in mind that something that may have worked for countless others, may not for you. Also, give yourself enough time to execute any idea or project you have not done before. It should be done well, or not at all. You get one shot at once-in-a-lifetime moments. They deserve to be one-of-a-kind, because you are.

Dream in Color & Snap Your Fingers in Your Sleep

Creating a Soundtrack for Your Event

Like many little girls, my childhood memories had Barbie in the mix. I had the different ones, like Peaches and Cream Barbie, Crystal Barbie, Bridal Barbie (of course). One of my favorites was Workout Barbie. Something about her electric blue unitard, hot pink ballet shoes and striped leg warmers really got my attention. Dare I say I thought she was sexy, at the age of 9? I would have worn an outfit just like it to class at Maria Priadka’s School of Dance…if I’d had any other mother than my own.

One thing I remember specifically, is that my version of “playing dolls” was different than most of my friends’. They insisted on weaving these elaborate (read boring) tales of doll life and scripting appropriate dialogue to go with it. It always seemed like our flow was interrupted by someone directing us with, “Now you say such and such and I’ll say so and so”. I preferred to pump up my radio and dress my dolls in outfits I thought went with the music, creating a “scene”. I could do this on my own for hours, and hours at a time. Each song demanded a different look, a different pose and sometimes a different setting. But I remember being intent on connecting what I saw to what I heard.

Now that I am an adult, songs are like a trigger for memories, some good and some not. What I find interesting, is how detailed the memories become when I can connect them to a song. I remember what I wore, where I was and how it smelled after hearing just a few bars of music. When I’m asleep, the settings in my dreams are in vivid color and there is always background music. I host events, see paintings and scenes in my dreams, sometimes long before I can even use the ideas. I am learning to write them down, but mostly the mental attachment to the music is enough.

As an event designer and planner, I really like the first meeting with my clients. They are sooo excited about what they want to create and celebrate, that I can’t help but be excited too. I get them to talk about what they see in their mind’s eye, because that is what they will be anticipating. After they share all of the details, I ask them to name songs that make them feel the way they want their event to feel. You might say that I create a soundtrack for their wedding or party or proposal. After our meeting I listen to their songs and begin to match what I hear to what my clients have said they want to see. Music and color are huge factors for creating unique event designs. People respond to both very personally. My secret is to mesh them in a foundation that sets up everything to work together. When I present the event plan to clients, their music is playing in the background, so they can start feeling it right away.

In the planning stages of your wedding, milestone party or proposal, think about how you want to feel and how you want your guests to feel. Those feelings tell your brain to commit that moment to memory. Have some songs in mind and share them with your event planner. Second, collect tons of pictures of items, flowers, designs in colors that you love. They don’t have to match or even make sense for your event. A good event designer will be able to pull a distinct style from what you are drawn to. And last, don’t be afraid to be daring, different and totally you. Once-in-a-lifetime events deserve one-of-a-kind event design. That can only happen when you stay true to what you want and not go with everything you have seen done already. Someone else’s design in your color scheme is not enough for my brides. If you can describe it, we can make it happen.

In honor of that young girl, and my faithful Barbie brigade, today I am going to listen to some of my old favorites. Those memories always make me smile. And once in a while, I still use some of my early design ideas. They still work, because at my core, I haven’t really changed. And I can still spend hours at a time creating a world, a look, a scene to the soundtrack of my life. What songs will define your moment? Let’s start building your soundtrack today.

Plain, White Wedding Shoes Won’t Do When, “I Do”

When you begin wedding planning and enter the bridal zone, one of the first things you learn is that there are many, many, many shades of white to choose from. When you go gown shopping, the key is to find the style of dress that you like and then choose the shade of white that works best with your complexion… or pink. Your wedding gown is a key starting point for planning…after the groom, of course. But, after you have chosen all of the finishing touches for the bridesmaids, the invitations, centerpieces, programs, music and menu, you realize that the main attraction is still… well, you. And today is the one day that you get to step out in all of your glory from head…to toe. So, if none of the infinite shades of white shoes speak to you, step out on your own.

The bride’s shoes used to be one of the last details chosen, mostly as an element of necessity, not necessarily style. In fact, when I look at my parents’ wedding pictures and my grandparents’ before them, I can’t even see the bride’s shoes. As I planned my own wedding in 1996, I remember searching for “wedding shoes” that didn’t look like the white shoes I refused to wear, which screamed, “EASTER!” I settled for a pair of white on white silk, damask heels that I actually liked. However, I also remember being more interested in the satin slippers I changed into as soon as the last formal picture was taken. The shoes were pretty…uncomfortable. Today’s brides are far more fortunate than generations before. Choices in gown design, color, style and length are limited only by their imagination and budget. Happily, bridal footwear is following suit.

Shoe designers now carry lines dedicated solely to brides (couldn’t resist). They have obviously paid attention to the number of wedding photos of not just the bride, but her shoes. How smart to design a shoe worthy of its own portrait so girlfriends will ask, “Girl, where did you get those shoes?”

So what should you consider when shoe shopping for your once-in-a-lifetime day? We have some tips:

1. Decide on the Style of Shoe You Want - I encourage my brides to go with their first or gut instinct on (just about) everything. 99.8 % of the time that is the right answer. If you want to wear red shoes, but your wedding colors are peach and plum, go for it. Don’t settle. Try on shoes that you like, even if you don’t know why. Being open minded gives you options and those options help you make the best choice. Just as you looked through magazines for gown ideas, do the same for shoes. Do not limit yourself with fabrics unless there is real cause for concern. Suede may not be the best choice for a beach wedding

2. Keep Local Vendors in Mind – In the Atlanta area, brides are fortunate to have access to many fashion havens. If you live close by, check out Ann Roth Shoes Studio & Showroom, in Buckhead, at The Paisley Umbrella or online at www.annrothshoes.com. Like Ann, quality, local vendors may afford you the luxury of having custom shoes crafted to be exactly what you want. Bridal salons often carry shoes too, so you can actually see what they will look like paired with your dress before you buy

3. Shop the Internet…Wisely – One thing I love about the Internet is that it is boundless. If I can come up with the right Google combo for what I have in mind, it can be found. However, I also have learned that everything on the internet is not as it may appear, so be careful. With that in mind, roam to and fro as you like in search of the most beautiful shoes. One site we have had repeated success with is www.MyGlassSlipper.com. Be sure to do your research on shoes and fit (another reason to include local shops in your search). Most important, leave yourself enough time to receive and/or exchange your shoes before the first fitting of your gown. The hem should be adjusted according to your heel height

4. Think About What You Want the Shoes to Say and Do – Your shoe statement will be as unique as you are. So, only you know what it should be. For example, I tend to lean toward old, Hollywood, glamour. So the shoes I am most drawn to sparkle in candlelight, have high drama design, but are just shy of being over the top...like me. One of my brides wore camouflage shoes as a tribute to her fiancé’s service to this country in the Army, which we love. Another is having custom made cowboy boots to match her gown and rustic, fall farmhouse wedding.

As part of your consideration, think about the wedding activities. If you are getting married outside, on the beach or near water, stilettos may not be the best choice. Those spiky heels love to sink into soft earth, wreaking havoc on your bridal march. If you are a dance-all-night kind of girl, then shoe comfort will be a concern. For you, there are now bridal shoes, like the Cole Haan Bridal Collection with Nike Air technology. We had a bride walk down the aisle and dance the night away in these looking fabulous!

Now that you are armed with some basic information, it is time for you to get on your feet and find your shoes. The best time of day is late afternoon when your feet are going to be more demanding about comfort. When you are trying on shoes, really try them on. Walk, jump and skip in them before you fall in love with how they look. Sometimes this may be impossible, but be strong. Nothing ruins an evening faster than your hurting feet and you don’t want that captured on the video montage.

Once you have your wedding day shoes (even if that is more than one pair), take them out and walk around in them for at least 30 minutes several times, several weeks before your wedding day. This will help them get to know your feet and become comfortable before you have to wear them for the potential 8+ hours the day requires.

A wedding is the celebration of two people becoming one. But so much of the planning requires you to accommodate others… no easy fete (last one, I promise). When it comes to your shoes for your day, only you can decide what will make your feet happy ones. Start planning your once-in-a-lifetime event by being true to your one-of-a-kind style.

Is the On-Site Coordinator Enough?

I recently heard from a newlywed who opted to leave the bulk of her wedding plans in the hands of the coordinator provided by the venue.  To the bride's credit, she contacted the on-site coordinator and reserved her date more than a year in advance.  She took the advice of the coordinator and went with the florist, catering and design companies recommended by the venue.  This too, was done more than a year before her June 2010 wedding date. 

This bride's story should end happily, right?  She started planning early enough.  She kept records of deposits, contracts and details that she discussed with her on-site coordinator.  The bride and the coordinator worked so well together that  the bride felt comfortable letting her tweak some of the final decisions with the florist, caterer and designer.  After all, they had discussed everything and the coordinator knew what the budget bottom line was. But, the one thing they did not talk about was the on-site coordinators resignation to start her own event planning company...1 week before the wedding. To make matters worse, the venue did not communicate the change in staffing until the night of the rehearsal.

24 hours before the wedding was to begin, the new on-site coordinator could locate the bride's file, but none of the notes taken by her predecessor.  And while she had a good amount of experience, she had no information about the vendors, delivery schedule or details of the wedding taking place the next day. She did not want to alarm the bride, who was visibly upset already.  She also did not want her employers to doubt her competence, but she was in a really tough spot.

The good news is, that June bride had a beautiful day.  The vendors had plenty of experience with the venue, so they were able to come in and do what they said they would. They worked well together and helped the new on-site coordinator work through minor issues.  There were a few changes that had to be made last minute with the floral design, but the bride liked what was chosen.  Overall, she was happy.  She was also very, very lucky

On-site coordinators are exactly that.  Their job is to coordinate the logistics of your wedding, as it relates to the venue that they work for.  Guidance on attire, invitations, budget, guest list management, bridal party coordination are not details they typically handle.  There are many who are excellent at what they do, and invaluable to you and your wedding team.  However, they can only help you, while they are working for the venue. If anything happens to change that, so does your plan. Your contract covers use of the space, typically not who is staffed there.

This story could have ended in horror.  The bride admitted that she did not sleep at all the night before her wedding trying to put as many details as she could on paper.  In fact, she was a wreck until she saw everything in place before the ceremony started. Even though everything turned out okay, she mentioned wishing that she had spent that time with someone who worked for her and not the venue.  "Peace of mind would have been priceless that night" she says now.

Spend time planning your day with someone who works for you.  The average wedding takes over 250 hours to plan.  The bulk of those hours are spent on details that happen before you even get to the venue. It makes sense that you would build a plan to manage them with someone who has the time to handle them from start to finish.  On-site coordinators are a great bonus for many venues.  Make sure that you have someone who can dedicate the time and attention you need to your whole wedding plan...and you.